30 days… and counting…

…is what my PS2 has done the weekend just gone, as I have just mentioned on my other blog… and, as also mentioned on my other blog, this time it appears that it is, as they say, for real (as opposed to when it happened a few months ago, and I was able to squeeze a bit more life out of the machine). I’ve just traded some games at Gamestation, in which I now have a total of £35 credit, and I could buy a pre-owned machine with two “free” (ish) games, for as little as £55… and inasmuch as stumping up £20 wouldn’t be that tricky… I feel that I want to resist!

And here is why…

I want to free my head… my mind… make space in my consciousness for my child. Obviously, as a parent, I will need distractions – I will need things in my life that are unrelated to being-a-dad… but… I want to be in control of those things. Mentally in control. At which point in this piece, I think I need to make a bit of a confession… I am far short, I would say, of being addicted to my PS2, but it does have a tendency, sometimes, to take over my mind

God, that sounds sinister… what I mean to say is, it can sometimes occupy my thought processes perhaps a little more than it should – a little more than is, perhaps, “healthy.” I will, no doubt, replace my PS2 at some point, but for now I have put it and its games away, and I want it to be one of a number of more “mentally proportionate,” fun non-dad-related “distractions”… including reading (being something that is easily pick-up-and-put-down-able – which may, I suspect, be an advantageous quality in the near future!)… watching some of those DVD’s I have been meaning to get around to watching… writing… and… other things I haven’t thought of yet…

When our child arrives in the world, it will take over our lives… at least at first… at least until we settle into a “routine”… and I don’t want any part of me to resent that. As far as possible, when I am immersed (hopefully not literally!) in dirty nappies, sleepless nights and everything else one becomes immersed in as a new parent, I want to eliminate things that I “would rather be doing” – those things are bound to exist, but I want to reduce them to a minimum… without, of course, forgetting who I am other than a dad! Unless, of course, I come to the realisation that “being a dad” is everything that I want to be… 🙂

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