3 Years, 7 Months, 2 Weeks & 4 Days into Daddyhood

Being the best bits from the blog largely created by my wonderful, poignant and hilarious daughter, ‘Things I Say and Do – by Talise’...

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20aug12
Talise: “I’d like to buy something.”
Mummy: “What?”
Talise: “Just something.”

21aug12
“My legs are really long now, because of lots of pedalling.”

25aug12
“I’m not a big girl now, I’ve turned small!”

27aug12
“The ants aren’t listening to me!”

31aug12
Mummy: “We don’t want to sit down, because we’re active.”
Talise: “No, we’re detectives.”

“It’s all boring and a bugger!”

4sep12
Daddy: “You look pretty.”
Talise: “You don’t.”
Daddy: “Do I look nice, though?”
Talise: “Nope.”

19sep12
Talise: “Dogs bend down.”
Daddy: “Why?”
Talise: “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

24sep12
“I like babies. They’re not scary at all.”

27sep12
After Daddy had spent half an hour trying to settle her to sleep…
“This is ridiculous.”

2oct12
“She doing her ‘puter, you’re doing your book and I’m doing my leaf.”

To Daddy…
“You’re knees are a bit nobbly, aren’t they?”

9oct12
“You can’t talk coz you’re fruit… coz fruit can’t talk!”

10oct12
On the warm milk in her blue sippy cup…
“It come out of these holes… then it go up in the air… then to Scotland!”

12oct12
At the end of ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’…
“Thank you for wool and old man sock!”

16oct12
Talise and Daddy had a conversation about the moon, in which Talise said someone was eating it and it needed to be fixed with hammers and nails.

21oct12
A chicken drumstick is…
” – like a hot lolly, isn’t it?”

24oct12
“I’m big, aren’t I? So I can fit on the toilet.”

29oct12
“I need another parent.”

To Mummy…
“Your hair looks like spider legs!”

31oct12
“Mummy always gets everything mixed up.”

1nov12
“I think I need my blanket, coz I’m a bit freezing.”

5nov12
As she lifts the lids on all the Pick’n’Mix sweets…
“I’m just checking if they’re alright.”

“A parrot will take it all back and it will fly-y-y with it and it will put it in a cave.”

8nov12
“I’ve just got one more word to say…”

“We are better than everyone!”

After blowing her nose…
“That should do it.”

13nov12
Talise: “I want to see your belly.”
Daddy: “Why?”
Talise: “Coz it’s lovely.”

“Sp-sp-speed! Mummy goes speed in her car!”

On seeing dropped litter, she gets out her toy phone and says…
“Policeman, can you get them please?”

14nov12
“If we didn’t have windows, we couldn’t see anything – could we?”

To Daddy…
“I’m glad you’re not rough anymore. You’re a bit rough, aren’t you?”

“I think I don’t want to do rhymes now, coz it makes me dizzy.”

Sliding down the slide…
“Ready… Steady… Supermarket!”

“Mummy, your ‘puter is a bit dirty.”

“There’s just one toilet, Dad… and just one person can go on it.”

15nov12
“I used to like fairies, but now I like pirates, like boys.”

17nov12
“I don’t want blanket, coz my monkeys just flip around.”

19nov12
On blackberry yoghurts…
“They taste like winter.”

20nov12
A song dedicated to her Russian dolls…
“My name is Pretty
And I got a smile
And I got pretty eyes
And I do that funny thing.”

24nov12
Daddy: “You shouldn’t play with your food.”
Talise: “It’s not my food.”

28nov12
“Water… water…”
– while crawling across the sofa

2dec12
Talise: “I’m a bit grumpy.”
Daddy: “Why?”
Talise: “Coz everyone’s annoying me.”

4dec12
In shopping trolley…
“Catch my trump.”

7dec12
“Policemen shouldn’t eat doughnuts.”

8dec12
On our new bungalow…
“There’s no stairs and it’s all spread out like that!”

“What bad luck.”

10dec12
“You two are naughty… and I’m perfect.”

12dec12
“You silly old foal.”

“I can’t see very well, so I need bigger eyes.”

13dec12
Song…
“I will like you, Dad
And I will like you, Mum
If you will dream about me!”

14dec12
Daddy: “Am I the king?”
Talise: “No, not very much.”

17dec12
“I’m quite funny, aren’t I?”

18dec12
“Maybe a sausage.”

20dec12
“‘Stop it, shower!’ I always say that as well.”

21dec12
“Oh dear! That’s not good.”

23dec12
“Mans have hair up their nose and ladies have bogies.”

“Our car is happy.”

24dec12
Mummy: “Get out of my kitchen!”
Talise: “Mummy, you shouldn’t say that, coz it’s not just your kitchen, it’s our kitchen as well.”

30dec12
Song…
“Lord Jesus is a frog!”

2jan12
“Socks are not knees.”

6jan12
“I don’t have nasty sandwiches… I never do… I have nice ones.”

14jan12
“Mary Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With poo and wee.”

“When I was a baby, I said cabbage piece of paper.”

“Scrunion, scrunion… Help me, helicopter.”

22jan12
“Don’t eat those, coz I will be cross… and you will see my cross face!”

24jan12
“Night night, BBC…”

Talise: “If the other people have popcorn, they will go to the doctors.”
Daddy: “Why?”
Talise: “Coz they will have chicken pox.”

29jan12
“We’re going to Sainsbury’s! No, Morrison’s. It’s a long way. Left, not right.”

4feb12
“I wanna be on telly… coz it will be fun.”

5feb12
“Can you do his talk?”
– Rastamouse’s

8feb12
“Let’s play on Mummy’s phone and watch telly – two ideas.”

11feb12
“You’re a daddy. Daddies know how to read. Mummies don’t, coz they haven’t got glasses.”

13feb12
“It’s nice to love people.”

“I like Barnett’s Hill, Merry Hill and my bike… and cake. I like cake the most.”

14feb12
“Kindergarten is my work and it’s really hard.”

17feb12
Bathtime song…
“A cabbage in my toe.
There’s a cabbage in my toe.
There’s a cabbage…
In my toe!”

“My caterpillar is not a baby, it’s a big girl. It’s a girl called Charlie. You can pull its ears.”

“I don’t know what your wee smells of. Strawberry and jam and chocolate and shoes! And feather and sparkle!”

“Oh Sugarpuffs!”

18feb12
“I like sun and bedtime.”

19feb12
Daddy: “You’re still not dressed!”
Talise: “I know that. I don’t wanna get dressed.”

22feb12
Daddy: “Do you like my new trousers? Do they look like chocolate?”
Talise: “Yes. And poo.”

24feb12
You shouldn’t have a suitcase on a bike, because…
“Suitcases don’t have helmets.”

25feb12
“He [Makka Pakka] looks like a hippo.”

Talise: “I want lots of leaves.”
Daddy: “What are you going to do with them?”
Talise: “Have them.”

“When you trump, you think, ‘Ooh, I’m a bit poo-ish-y.’”

27feb12
“Bye – see you in a loaf!”

28feb12
“I’m not a darling, I’m a doctor!”

“My hair has gone all crazy.”

29feb12
“Men don’t eat squirrel nuts, they eat men nuts!”

2mar12
Song…
“I have to, I have to cut your he-e-ad off.
Doctors sometimes do that.”

“She haven’t got a bandage! Ooh, I’ve got an idea – Sellotape and kitchen roll.”

3mar12
“Naughty telly – smack it on its bottom!”

4mar12
“Softy softy smelly sock.”

“I’m pushing the swing… It’s my invisible friend… She’s called Nobody.”

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Talise will be 4 in July

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