3 Years, 9 Months & 1 Day into Daddyhood

I get you, Talise. The deep melancholic/euphoric longing, not to believe (because you already believe), but to see and experience what you know exists on the periphery of reality (although you wouldn’t understand the phrase, periphery of reality). Not just fairies, but what they represent: magic, pixie dust, wonderful creatures. Because, big hairy man that I am, I did ‘feel a bit funny’ when I watched certain scenes from Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue with Talise. Said ‘funny feeling’ arose from the resurfacing of latent childhood memories of desperately wanting a thing to be real – or more specifically, real in my existence. I particularly remember feeling such feelings towards to Spielberg’s E.T. I wanted to befriend that cute wrinkly alien! And while I enormously enjoyed entering that fantastical world, and numerous other fantastical worlds, I was at times desperately sad at the return to reality – not that my reality was awful, not by a long stretch, but it was not filled with cute benevolent aliens, fairies, jedi knights, wizards and talking horses.

So I glance over at my little girl, as she enters these fantastical worlds (fully and immersively, as befits a young child), and I wonder if, with ever smile and giggle of delight, there is also a spark of regret that, despite every effort of will, she just cannot push her consciousness through the magical screen that shows her these wonders. No doubt there is. It is therefore my job, as her dad, to help her to see that the ‘real’ world can be just as magical as the myriad worlds of stories…

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