1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks & 4 days into Daddyhood
I sometimes wonder, given the choice, if Talise would live entirely on a diet of raisins.
1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks & 2 days into Daddyhood
At the recent Christmas Fayre at my local primary school, I bought a couple of raffle tickets and won a complementary pass for four to go to the West Midlands Safari Park. I had to use it before early Feb and although it was nice to win something, I thought we probably wouldn’t end up going – what would my eighteen month old daughter want with looking at a bunch of animals from a distance in a car?
Not ones for wasting a freebie, however, we decided to invite Jo’s dad and partner along and make a day (or couple of hours or so) of it. Which we did on Saturday the 30th of Jan…
And Talise loved it!
We almost didn’t go on the actual “safari” part, for the reason described above. What if Talise got bored half way through? As there are no places where you can make a swift exit scattered along the safari trail, and I suspect it would be frowned upon (and perhaps a tad dangerous) to floor it round the lion/rhino/wolf reserves, I didn’t relish the prospect of a restless (at best) or screaming/wailing (at the-opposite-of-best) toddler accompanying our journey through various exotic fauna. But…
As previously mentioned…
Talise loved it!
She sat there happily, in her car seat, munching on her raisins, peering out the window at the bounty of beasts, roaring at the lions, laughing at the camels, only expressing a modicum of whingey boredom when we were slightly delayed at the gates between the reserves… understandably. We completed the safari in 45 mins; 30 mins short of the “recommended” (or something) 1hr15mins, because even we thirty-something grown-ups only had a limited concentration span… and with the tickets being free, we didn’t feel we had to “get our money’s worth”… and we still had some concern that our little missy might get bored and we’d have to zip speedily past the elephants and the buffalo (and we didn’t fancy the potential consequences of startling a trio of elephants). But 45 mins was more than enough time to enjoy the experience and to enjoy our daughter’s enjoyment of the experience. Which we did. So then…
Upon meeting up with Talise’s Papa and Grace, we strolled around the rest of the park – or at least what was available for perusal during the winter months. Did I say “strolled”? Talise squealed and giggled and big-toothy-grinned and toddle-ran… and pretty much set the pace for the rest of us… as she is wont to do when there are things to see, boys and girls to chase after and tiger-headed bins to growl at.
She wasn’t that bothered with the seals (no doubt because the “Seal Encounter” involved too much sitting/standing still) or the bats in the bat-cave (what bats? Oh those occasional dark shadows flitting by in the almost pitch dark), she loved the fish (who I’m sure I could see reaching for the Paracetamol as we were leaving), she was too tired to be bothered having a look at the reptiles… but…
A memory which will stand out amongst the day’s events…
…is something we have never seen her doing before and I’m sure is something neither Mummy or Daddy taught her…
…that being…
…in the Explorer’s Cafe…
…dipping her chips in her milk!
And her beans!
Ooh, ya just can’t take her anywhere…
( 
)
1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks & 1 day into Daddyhood
Kids?!
School?!
Terrifying!
Except…
Well, not really.
Surprisingly.
In fact…
Fun!
And rewarding.
Etc.
* * *
Friday 29 Jan 2010, 0900-1200h…
Two “Learning for Life Academy” (LFLA) workshops at my local primary school…
1. “Hands-On Drawing”: where the kids (all Key Stage 2) drew around their hands and added bits to make various animals. Nervous at first. Then got stuck in, went round the class asking them their names, helped out a bit when they lacked for inspiration, did some praising and such. A couple of kids “insisted” I then go to their “Pop Art” session. I was touched! So…
2. “Pop Art”: kids of same age (including the above) traced around head’n’shoulders photos of themselves four times, coloured in blocks of colour with same four felt tip pens but in different combinations. I got to do some colouring in! 
* * *
Doing the same next Friday morning – maybe same groups, maybe different ones. Looking forward to it!
* * *
My First Teaching Day was a test…
I have decided I want to “get into teaching”… but is it really for me?
I was nervous. My tummy and bladder were expressive of said nerves…
But I “came through”!
I walked home happy!
I felt I could “get into it” and get better and better!
Kids?
School?
Terrifying?
Naah!!
But “telling off”…?
Hmm, that I’ll have to work on…
1 year, 6 months & 1 week into Daddyhood
… that my previous piece seemed to have nothing whatsoever to do with my being a dad and such things… and so you may be wondering what it is doing in The Progenitor, as opposed to my other blog, The Art of Tea. Well…
Following my latest Art of Tea piece, I have come to the realisation that even when I am not specifically talking about or referring to my dad-ness, after eighteen months of being a dad, my dad-ness is very much and intrinsically part of me. An enormous part of me. I mean, in that I am indeed things other than “a dad,” there’s no getting away from the major-ness of my dad status. If you see what I mean. And so, in relation to my bloggery, I have decided (for now, at least), that anything diary-like, relating to me, my life and such things (involving, as it does, my relationship with my daughter, other members of my family, etc – as well as other stuff) should now go in The Progenitor.
Unrelated philosophical ramblings and such will continue to go in The Art of Tea.
So there you are.
1 year, 6 months & 1 week into Daddyhood
[ As is suggested by the title, the draft of this piece was written on the final page of my current Writing Journal, whose works commenced on 16 Aug 06 ]
. . . . .
22 Jan 10
I thought this page might be arbitrary. But no! Yesterday was a significant day. Yesterday I had a Back to Work interview at the Job Centre, in which I officially declared: I am no longer looking for a job in accounts! Furthermore, I declared: I am looking for a job in teaching! Or specifically, as a “Teaching Assistant unqualified.”
A significant day indeed!
So inasmuch as I have already commenced my plan-to-get-into-teaching, today is the first full day in which said plan becomes accepted in the eyes of The System.
HOO -
… and furthermore …
- RAH !!
1 year, 6 months & 1 week into Daddyhood
I worry about stuff, I won’t go into details, because I believe, to some extent, that describing things, visualising them, may give them the energy to make them happen. On the flip side of that coin…
Positive Visualisation!
I don’t speak much, blogwise, about my esoteric beliefs. They are, however, there; and in fact, their visibility (or lack of) on my blogs is probably roughly equivalent to their “visibility” in my life. But they are there. But these days, I don’t speak of them much; they are not much in the forefront of my existence. I want them to be moreso. Starting with…
Positive Visualisation!
Which I have mentioned.
And it’s something I want to put more energy into.
As I have also mentioned, I worry about stuff. But when I stop thinking, when I feel, when I “vibe,” I am infused with the sense that everything will work out just fine. But the thing of it is, that everything will work out just fine if I believe that everything will work out just fine. A bit of a circular argument, admittedly (like “A will be B if A will be B”), but still, the upshot is that I should engage in more…
Positive Visualisation!
Imagine, imagine, imagine – as Chris and Pui from Cbeebies’ Show Me, Show Me are wont to sing – what I want my life to be… and by extension the lives of those close to me – in particular my partner, Jo, and my daughter, Talise. Make a list (ahh, the beauty of a list!) of aspects which I want to be part of my existence. And what better time than now to make that list! So… (in true present-tense PV-speak)…
* * *
Two days later…
… and I haven’t yet made the list. It’s hard! I’ve thought about it. But I haven’t yet put pen to paper. The problem is, knowing how high to set my sights. I mean, thinking about what I absolutely, ideally, perfectly would like my life to be, it would involve something along the lines of not having to work at all, being in perfect health and having absolutely no financial concerns. Which would be nice, but in terms of PV-ing (Positively Visualising), how can I believe in the possibility of this PU (Personal Utopia)? I suppose maybe if I could believe in it, then I might be able to give it the energy to make it happen… but… what I feel is needed is some sort of happy medium between likelihood and ideal. Let’s put that in capitals and bold type…
LIKELIHOOD Vs IDEAL
And with that in mind, let’s have another go at the list…
1. I go out to work no more than 32 hours a week.
2. I travel no more than 30 minutes each way to work.
3. I am happy and satisfied with my work, which is, mainly, in teaching or some variant thereof.
4. I earn extra money from writing – which I have the option to do as and when I want.
5. I am happy with the amount of time I spend with my family – including my beautiful daughter, Talise.
6. My partner, Jo, is happy with the status/progress of her photography career.
7. We have no substantial financial worries – such that we are putting aside some savings, can afford holidays when needed, do not need to be too scrimpy about Christmas and birthday presents, and can afford to occasionally treat ourselves to luxury items (food, clothes, gifts to ourselves), going on days/nights out, etc.
8. My beautiful daughter, Talise, is happy, healthy, well-fed, mentally stimulated and beautifully clothed.
I think that about covers it!
1 year, 5 months, 3 weeks & 6 days into Daddyhood
When one has existed on this planet for over 37 years, the meaning of New Year celebrations becomes diminished. That’s not to even mention the fact that, with a nearly-eighteen-month-old child, one is only conscious to see 2009 become 2010 due to having to settle her back to sleep after she has been frightened awake by the fireworks. Nor that, after I took over an hour to get back to sleep then she was awake again at 4.15am, the first day of the second decade of the twenty-first century was, shall we say, a “difficult” day. But having not mentioned these things…
What is the point?
Of celebrating the New Year, that is.
I mean, it (January the first) is only another day, which is really no different from any other day.
Especially since, as one has a daughter who doesn’t understand the concept of a “lie-in,” one was in bed on 31/12/09 at the usual time of 9pm – or actually, thinking about it, I think we decided to be wild and stay up another 20 minutes!
So as I was saying…
Why bother celebrating the passing of one year and the beginning of another one?
Why bother making “New Year’s Resolution,” when one knows from experience that they will go largely unresolved? (I am happy to say I am not a smoker, and inasmuch as I can’t remember the precise statistic, I was shocked to see somewhere recently how many people give up smoking compared with how many are back on the fags within a month)
In response to the above question, referring in particular to the bracketed comment, I suppose what one could say is this…
It is better to try, with the tiniest chance of success, and to fail, than to not bother trying at all.
Hmm, I’m sure I could have put that a bit more succinctly. Still…
Is it not? – i.e. better to try… etc. I mean, accepting the arbitrariness of the passing from 31-Dec to 1-Jan, is this not as good an excuse as any to decide to at least try to make a number of positive (hopefully!) changes to one’s life? I would suggest that it is!
In relation to this suggestion, I would add a further suggestion to anyone making a list of New Year’s Resolutions, or who has already made a list (being, such that it now is, getting on for two weeks into 2010), to add one more to the list, that being…
I resolve to accept the likelihood that I will fail in some of the above Resolutions, perhaps even all, but I will not be dispirited by this and I will continue to try to change my life for the better.
If one keeps only this final Resolution, then one can, in a sense, never fail!
* * *
Before I move on from the topic of New Year’s Resolutions, may I just share with you some of mine? You may not give the proverbial fig, but it is my Blogger’s Prerogative to tell you them anyway, so there! So here they are…
1. Learn the ukulele! (I acquired one recently, from Freecycle, but have not picked it up as frequently as I would have liked, so I endeavour to make substantial use of the chord book my Other Half got me for Christmas)
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff! (I have an unfortunate tendency to worry about small, insignificant things, which I really don’t need to worry about (I won’t go into details, because it’s embarrassing) – I intend to at least be more aware of this, and perhaps even to devise a written plan)
3. Make more of your writing! (i.e. do some of those things I’ve recently realised I’ve been telling myself to do, for several years, in my writing journals)
4. Be more flexible, spontaneous and easy-going! (a three-pronged attack!)
5. Reuse more plastic bags! (particularly at my local Morrisons)
6. Find more time to read! (I want to, for example, catch up on the works of my teenhood fave, Stephen King)
* * *
As well as making resolutions, I feel that it can be useful, at the end of each year, to look back over the preceding twelve months and reflect upon what one has learnt, how one has grown, what challenges one has faced and overcome and such things.
“What has,” (one might say) “2009 been The Year Of?”
And one might make a list – quickly and spontaneously at first – from the biggest, most significant, monumental of things, to the (apparently (at first)) smallest, most trivial of things. Like so…
2009 has been The Year Of…
1. CBeebies! (I have become very strongly acquainted with the characters, themes, programme scheduling and so on, of such)
2. Becoming a Dad! (technically I became a dad in July 2008, but in 2009 I grew into properly feeling like a dad)
3. Getting Out of Accounts! (time will tell on this one, but since being made redundant in Sep’09, I have resolved to change my career (details later (probably))
That’ll do for now. I may think of more, but I feel that I want to wrap up this longish blog entry and get it posted – before I’m too far into Jan’10!
So…
Have a good’un!
By which I mean to say…
Have a good day.
Have a good January.
Have a good 2010.
Have a good life.
Etc!
[simultaneously posted to The Progenitor and The Art of Tea]
1 year, 5 months & 2 weeks into Daddyhood
I have become, as I confessed to my partner the other day, A Bit Of An Old Cynic. This came as no surprise to her. She has known me for nearly twenty years.
I have never been a fitting-in-not-complaining type of person – although my complaining tends to have been done in writing, to myself or amongst like-minded folk, on Internet forums or in a sixth form “Burning Issues” group, or whatever. I can safely say, however, that I am now, at 37, a fully fledged member of the I Detest and Disapprove of Almost Every Aspect and Facet of Almost Every System and Organisation of Modern Western Society brigade. For this reason, I don’t (or prefer not to) watch the News. I don’t (or prefer not to) listen to the News. I don’t (or prefer not to) read the News. I don’t want to be “informed,” because everything (well nearly everything) that the News tends to be about annoys me.
I used to love a Good Debate. There was nothing I liked more than spouting off about this, that or the other. Green Issues. Nuclear Weapons. Vegetarianism. The Ills of Capitalism. The Stupidness of “Fashion.” You might have noticed, on my other blog, that I still engage in a bit of spout-offery on various “issues.” I’ll write down what I think, post it blogwise, and that will pretty much be that.
I can’t (generally) be bothered, anymore, trying to convince someone on my rightness on some “issue” or other. I’m right in my head – that’s all that matters!
And… well… perhaps it’s due to my advancing maturity or something… but… I’ve realised that I just don’t enjoy getting all fired up like I used to. It stresses me out. It makes me feel powerless and depressed. There is so much that I believe is fundamentally wrong with the systems and organisations of the society I find myself abiding in. Stuff I can’t change. Stuff I can’t mentally accept, but just have to somehow live with. The News reminds me of this stuff. The News stresses and depresses me.
So I don’t want to be “informed”!
* * *
There is a happy ending to this piece.
At the time of writing, I am a dad of seventeen and a half months. My life is far from trouble-free, but my daughter makes me happy, my family makes me happy. I believe in being a dad. I believe in raising my daughter the best I can, making her as happy as I can. I don’t believe in much about the society which my Talise will become (in some sense) a part of, but I do believe in helping her to become the best person she can within that society.
And…
Being a dad has inspired me.
Having recently been made redundant has inspired me.
I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I am determined my Talise will look up at her Daddy and be proud. Proud that her Daddy is doing something he believes in.
I haven’t figured it all out yet…
But I’ll keep you “informed”…
[simultaneously posted to The Progenitor and The Art of Tea]
1 year, 5 months & 3 days into Daddyhood
At the beginning of every episode of In the Night Garden, while a night-time rhyme is sung/spoken, we see a close-up of a loving parent gently stroking the palm of their child, who is drifting off to sleep.
More often than not, these days, when my Talise hears the first few bars of the theme to In the Night Garden, she starts gently stroking her own palm… then she indicates that she wants to stroke my palm…
The power of television!
1 year, 5 months & 3 days into Daddyhood
We (as in my daughter and I) watched an episode of Charlie and Lola yesterday morning (being Friday the 18th of December 2009), in which the mum of the delightfulish duo tells them to tidy their room. Charlie agrees that it is a bit of a mess, but Lola says it is not messy, just spread out, to make it easier for playing. It was a fun little episode, but one which I would have thought little more of, except that…
It occurred to me later in the morning, when Mummy was out seeing a friend and Talise was off playing on her own for a whole few minutes, what a wise little animated girl Lola is (or was)!
“Wise?” you ask.
“Well yes,” I reply. “For is it not the case, when Talise was off playing nicely on her own for a whole few minutes, that while the living room was in a state that some (e.g. Charlie from and Lola) might call messy, others (e.g. Lola from Charlie and) might say it was not messy, just spread out, to make it easier for playing…?”
O The Utterly Wonderfulish Wisdom of Lola (from Charlie and)…!
